While You Were Hoping You’re Never Legend

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  • Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter welcomed a baby girl into the world, and named her Sweeney Toddler, the Adorable Baby of Sweet Street.
  • Duane ‘Dog’ Chapman appeared a toy drive sponsored by a black advocacy group, because if there’s one Christmas toy all the black kids want this year, it’s a Dog The Racist Bounty Hunter action figure. Meth sold separately.
  • Jessica Simpson’s movie career might be in jeopardy, because her next two films are going straight-to-DVD, and it would seem that her entire film-going audience consists of her father. And even he just goes to see some skin.
  • David Letterman has managed to negotiate and independent deal with the Writers Guild, and will soon be returning to the air with his entire staff of scribes. Though they’ll have some pretty stiff competition from current late-night talk show king Carson Daly, who’s self-created knock-knock jokes have been killing.
  • Who shot John Travolta’s chances a playing a terrible J.R. in the Dallas movie? Ben Stiller.