Heidi Montag Is Keeping Spencer’s Ring, But Will Need A New One If He Still Wants To Get Married

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maxim_180x240.jpgBuried within the few hundred superfluous words of ‘interview’ that we neither needed nor cared about, but still come along with Heidi Montag’s half-naked photo spread in Maxim Magazine anyway (though she DID blow the f*cking lid off the fact that The Hills might not be altogether “real”), I was delighted to discover this wonderful little thought-nugget in which our reality startard addresses the pragmatic fiscal realities of her fake broken fake engagement with Spencer Pratt. Via People:

But what Montag’s fans really want to know is, what’s going on with her engagement to Spencer Pratt?

“It’s on pause,” she admits. “It was causing us to fight, so we decided not to deal with it. I still have [the ring]. But I guess when we decide to resume the wedding, I’ll need a new ring.”

Do you hear that, Spencer? She really does appreciate the overpriced piece of shiny mineral you put on her finger, which is why she’s going to keep it, but if you ever hope to pick up the pieces and put this charade of a relationship back on fake track, momma’s gonna need a little more material proof of your love, so you’d better get right back down on your knees and beg your parents for some money again.