Oceanic Six Redux
We’ve got Jack, Kate, Hurley, and now Sayid, with two spots open for a Jin/Sun tag team or a possible Sun/Claire upset (and sweet mainland lesbian scene, if this was Nip/Tuck). Sawyer reiterated his desire not to leave the island with an Eternal Sunshine-esque “let’s just see where this takes us” Valentine’s Day declaration, plus it’s safe to say that Locke ain’t going anywhere, Desmond was never on Oceanic, and it’d be kind of a gyp if it were anyone else.
I Know It Was You, Hurley…
I would like to reiterate that Jorge Garcia’s Hurley may be the most believably acted character on television. So believable, in fact, that when we found him tied up in the barracks, we all immediately concluded that he’d hit the crossover point where he regretted his decision to go with Locke and was now on Team Jack, as he stated in this season’s first flash-forward (I believe he was wearing a “Team Jack” t-shirt in that as well, someone look that up for me). In reality, he was merely acting as Locke’s lovable bait-puppet, successfully tricking even the ultra-careful Sayid and ensuring that no one will ever trust anyone on the show ever again. Especially Rose.
Locke Is The New Ben?
Locke’s apparent plan to act out the will of Invisible, Angry Jacob and Taller Ghost Walt got a bit sidetracked this week when the wacky teleporting ghost cabin, to Locke’s surprise, teleported somewhere else wackily, with only a pile of smoke monster-looking ash left in its place. Nonetheless, Locke still continues to confidently lead his group, not allowing any setback to in any way dissuade his persistence in being right, like some bald George W. Bush (Saaaatire! Yooou’ll get caught up in the…) He doesn’t answer anyone’s questions, he has no qualms about using his friends to set traps for other friends, and he seems to have an innate connection with the island that no one else possesses — he’s basically turning into Ben, only he hasn’t yet gotten to the point where every line he says is an asinine, cryptic insult where he braces his face to get punched before even finishing the sentence.
Beardo Daniel Can Be Shady Too
Last week’s sobbing tech geek took a turn for the shades in this episode, independently setting up a complicated system of electronic beacons and guiding goodie-filled missiles to the shore. Hard to tell if the boat is calibrating weapons for some sort of island bombardment or if this is a red herring (which I believe was the working title of this episode), but Daniel sure seemed intent on hanging behind, if only to score some crisis sex with a newly vulnerable Charlotte. All I’m saying is, can’t you foresee a showdown three episodes from now where Daniel has a gun pointed at Sayid and Miles the ghost whisperer with Miles yelling “what are you waiting for, shoot him!” and Sayid calmly repeating “don’t do anything stupid, Daniel” and just before he pulls the trigger to shoot Miles (surprise!), Ben hits him over the head with an oar? (Spoiler Alert Maybe!)
In The Future, Sayid Is Ben’s Assassin, Veterinary Assistant
As the EW Recap points out, before becoming Ben’s hitman lackey in the flash-forward, Sayid declares, “The day I start trusting him is the day I sell my soul” — foreshadowing that’s so damn shadowy, it’d make Punxsutawney Phil blow his brains out. In the future, Ben has a bunch of dogs in cages and talks in a lower, sexier voice until he’s filmed from the front, but more importantly, he and Sayid are now exacting revenge on the Other Others, or whatever vague organization they’re now united against in order to help Sayid’s companions. For a brief moment, Sayid lets the “100 Most Beautiful People” title go to his head and gets shot when he compassionately tries to warn his bedding companion about his ulterior motive, but immediately comes to his senses and fills her with bullets.
We do not, however, find out who this woman’s mysterious boss was, though if we’re throwing money on the table, I got twenty bucks on Daniels from The Wire, the odds-on Vegas favorite. Elsewhere in the predicting realm, one of our editors predicted that Michael is Ben’s man inside the ship, which I agree makes a lot of sense. Still notttt quite ready to place any bets about what the “temple” is or anything about the smoke monster.
Additionally, I think the thing I love most about Lost is that the writing is always so sharp and the characters are so perceptive, there are never any moments where you’re sitting there yelling at the screen “you idiot, it’s obviously THIS!! How can you not figure that out??” About four lines into Sayid’s cold-open conversation on the golf course, I was thinking to myself, “oh, this guy’s gotta be another one of those agents,” but before I even voiced my revelatory deduction to my roommates, Sayid shot the dude. On a lesser show, we would have found out 45 minutes later that the guy was secretly evil, and no one would’ve been surprised, and we would’ve hated the characters for not figuring that out themselves, and so on. Cooould’ve done without the Bruckheimery exchange “Aren’t you going to wish me luck, Jack?” “Bring back a postcard!”, but who’s counting?
And Finally, The MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION OF THE WEEK
Sayid spoons in the “chick” position: