Call it Face Miserables. A musical based on the 1985 classic film Mask made its debut on the small stage in Pasadena, California this weekend. No… I know… this is the most exciting thing to happen to the Theater World since Carol Channing hired a new wigmaker. The original 1985 movie Mask starred Cher as Florence ‘Rusty’ Dennis, the lovable biker (read: kinda slut) mother of a boy born with a severely effed up face named Rocky Dennis, played by an unrecognizably deformed Eric Stolz. The combination of latex elephant face taken together with Cher’s unruly ringlets meant that, as a toddler, Mask ranked right up there with Follow That Bird on my “Movies That Will Scar Me For Life” list.
But maybe all that the Mask was missing… was song. Because now Mask is a musical, replete with terrifying stage make-up, slutty biker mom, and — get this — the other dad from My Two Dads! You know, “Beardy”! “Hot Dad with a Beard”! “Not Paul Reiser With a Beard Guy!”… Movingon.org, Playbill’s description alone is heart-wrenching:
Mask is a musical based on the true story of an unusual looking boy and his unconventional biker mother. She shows him how to embrace life. He shows her how to choose it.
Hillary Clinton, take note: This is the slogan your campaign is missing. And the photos from the musical are INCREDIBLE. Like this one, where a blind girl finds love in the form of a latex headpiece:
Or this one… where he’s probably singing the classic ol’ ditty “Check Out My Bike! And Not So Much My Face…”:
JESUS, people, we need to get this show to Broadway! Anyone got Guffman‘s beeper number?
(See more photos over at Playbill.com)