While You Were Hating Yourself For Still Giggling At The Word “Shiite”

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Sambora

  • Bon Jovi guitarist Richie Sambora has been arrested on a DUI and possible child endangerment charge. Jeez — even his criminal offenses are out of his league.
  • Jamie Lynn Spears and boyfriend Casey Aldridge have reportedly gotten engaged. At seventeen?? Who does she think she is, all of my high school friends?
  • One-name singer Chikezie was voted off American Idol last night. Three-name singer Kristy Lee Cook remains at large.
  • The L.A. Times apologized for relying on fabricated FBI documents for their story about Sean Combs’ associates being involved with the assassination of Tupac. They added, “We now know that Tupac is actually alive and serving a prison sentence in Jamaica for dealing drugs, along with Bruce Lee.”
  • The Pussycat Dolls were fined 10,000 Ringitts (about $2,000) for a performance in Malaysia that was too “sexually suggestive.” All the sudden, rubbing your bare vagina on a microphone is over the line? Lighten up, Malaysia.