Megan Fox, best-known as the distractingly hot friend in “Transformers,” was named FHM’s #1 Sexiest Woman In The World this week. What does Fox have that runners-up Jessica Biel, Jessica Alba, Elisha Cuthbert, Scarlett Johansson, and 95 others don’t?
The answer, according to pretty much every article written about this FHM list: She is really f*cking down to earth. How down to earth? This down to earth:
A Motley CrÃ¼e t-shirt, Jack! Lame-ass Jessica Biel only wears really formal gowns and listens to classical music (though sometimes her gowns have pictures of symphony orchestras on them).
Not down to earth enough for ya? Check this:
A tattoo of a Shakespeare quote! No way! I have a tattoo of Pink Floyd’s Wish You Were Here lyrics on my shoulder from when I was 17 so I can totally relate! She’s so down to earth, she’s, like, waist deep in the earth!
Wait, there’s more?
Those aren’t ads behind her — those are her thought bubbles. She’s so muthaeffin’ down to earth, she is thinking about eating Taco Bell and drinking Captain Morgan, and doesn’t care that we can see her thoughts! I love those two things! Eat it, Angelina! If you can deal with Taco Bell, that is, you’re all like eatin’ sushi and champagne and sh*t.
Mmmmbut seriously, folks — way to go on Number One, Megan Fox! I’ve always been of the unique opinion that she’s really hot. Turns out I was right, everyone.