Top 10 Words That Only Exist In Gossip Magazines

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Beau

10. Beau

Noun; Actual or unconfirmed boyfriend, often qualified with “new.”

Example: Lindsay was spotted in a corner booth cozying up to her new beau — OH WAIT, that’s Samantha Ronson!!! [lulz]

Closest Real-Life Use: “Hey, is Beau Bridges still alive?”

Bod

9. Bod

Noun; Body, usually a hot one, on display.

Example: Jude Law showed off his hot bod while on vacay with the kiddies this weekend. Hey Jude — how ’bout you take the kids to the beach more often???

Closest Real-Life Use: “If we ever go back in time and run a custom car show in 1993, want to call it ‘Hot Rods n’ Hot Bods?’”

Items

8. Item

Noun; 1. Noteworthy enough couple; 2. Information of value, sometimes ‘juicy’ or ‘blind.’

Example: Here’s a juicy little item — Paris Hilton and Benji Madden were spotted together yet again at a club in Malibu. Looks like they’re becoming an item — sorry, single guys!!!

Closest Real-Life Use: “MESSAGE FROM DR. LIGHT! ITEM-2 COMPLETED! GET YOUR WEAPONS READY! GET EQUIPPED WITH ITEM-2!”

Crooner

7. Crooner

Noun; 1. Singer of R&B and/or vague, uncategorizable music; 2. “American Idol” contestant.

Example: Our Usher spy spotted the steamy crooner croonin’ the night away with former “Idol” crooner Kellie Pickler. What an unlikely duet!!!

Closest Real-Life Use: “The other day on the phone, my grandma goes, ‘I think that nice crooner man Kan-yee West’ is very handsome.”

Pix

6. Pix

Noun (pl); Plural for “pictures,” typically unsolicited or raunchy.

Example: A rep for De la Hoya swears Oscar has no idea where the pix came from. Uhhhhhh, duhhhh… a camera, maybe???

Closest Real-Life Use: “I give abbreviations to sugary candy.”

Poptard

5. Pop Tard

Noun; Hilarious breakfast pastry-related nickname for very public, troubled female musicians.

Example: Britney missed another court hearing at 8:00 this morning. Apparently, the pop tard can’t figure out how to work a cell phone alarm, y’all!!!

Closest Real-Life Use: “Would you like a pop tard for breakfast? Oop, sorry, misspoke — a pop tart, I mean.”

Dish

4. Dish

Verb; To relay personal or inappropriate information.

Example: We got Shia to dish the deets on the new “Indy” movie and guess what? There are whips in it!!! Rawwwrrrr!!!

Closest Real-Life Use: “Time Warner really, really sucks. Wanna get Dish?”

Tipster

3. Tipster

Noun; 1. Anonymous individual who feeds firsthand information to gossip press. 2. Nobody.

Example: Our tipster tells us that Pam and Hugh Hefner “didn’t come up for air all night” and “definitely left together” and “had sex” and “didn’t use a condom!” Uh oh! More like Hugh Hep-ner!

Closest Real-Life Use: [In the 1930s] “Nyah, see? They calls ‘em the Chatanooga Tipster, see? Cause when ya step inta the ring with ‘em, he makes ya tip over with his left hook!”

Baby Bump

2. Baby Bump

Noun; Visible sign of female pregnancy, usually speculative.

Example: Whoa! Is that Nicole Richie’s baby bump, or did she just eat a raisin???

Closest Real-Life Use: “Check it out — Those two highly coordinated babies are re-enacting a 70s dance craze.”

Canoodling

1. Canoodling

Verb; To snuggle affectionately, or just to be in the same building or city as one another. Almost exclusively used in participle form.

Example: Our tipster dished an item about a certain pop tard trading in her hot bod pix for a baby bump — looks like she and her new crooner beau are doing more than just canoodling!

Closest Real-Life Use: “Did you see this article? Apparently, these two celebrities were spotted canoodling, whatever the f*ck that means.”

[HONORABLE MENTIONS: C-lister, popwreck, hubby, celebutard, celebuspawn, rep, spies, prenup, exclusive, Cloud 9, retracted, mommyhood]