Noun; Actual or unconfirmed boyfriend, often qualified with “new.”
Example: Lindsay was spotted in a corner booth cozying up to her new beau — OH WAIT, that’s Samantha Ronson!!! [lulz]
Closest Real-Life Use: “Hey, is Beau Bridges still alive?”
Noun; Body, usually a hot one, on display.
Example: Jude Law showed off his hot bod while on vacay with the kiddies this weekend. Hey Jude — how ’bout you take the kids to the beach more often???
Closest Real-Life Use: “If we ever go back in time and run a custom car show in 1993, want to call it ‘Hot Rods n’ Hot Bods?’”
Noun; 1. Noteworthy enough couple; 2. Information of value, sometimes ‘juicy’ or ‘blind.’
Example: Here’s a juicy little item — Paris Hilton and Benji Madden were spotted together yet again at a club in Malibu. Looks like they’re becoming an item — sorry, single guys!!!
Closest Real-Life Use: “MESSAGE FROM DR. LIGHT! ITEM-2 COMPLETED! GET YOUR WEAPONS READY! GET EQUIPPED WITH ITEM-2!”
Noun; 1. Singer of R&B and/or vague, uncategorizable music; 2. “American Idol” contestant.
Example: Our Usher spy spotted the steamy crooner croonin’ the night away with former “Idol” crooner Kellie Pickler. What an unlikely duet!!!
Closest Real-Life Use: “The other day on the phone, my grandma goes, ‘I think that nice crooner man Kan-yee West’ is very handsome.”
Noun (pl); Plural for “pictures,” typically unsolicited or raunchy.
Example: A rep for De la Hoya swears Oscar has no idea where the pix came from. Uhhhhhh, duhhhh… a camera, maybe???
Closest Real-Life Use: “I give abbreviations to sugary candy.”
5. Pop Tard
Noun; Hilarious breakfast pastry-related nickname for very public, troubled female musicians.
Example: Britney missed another court hearing at 8:00 this morning. Apparently, the pop tard can’t figure out how to work a cell phone alarm, y’all!!!
Closest Real-Life Use: “Would you like a pop tard for breakfast? Oop, sorry, misspoke — a pop tart, I mean.”
Verb; To relay personal or inappropriate information.
Example: We got Shia to dish the deets on the new “Indy” movie and guess what? There are whips in it!!! Rawwwrrrr!!!
Closest Real-Life Use: “Time Warner really, really sucks. Wanna get Dish?”
Noun; 1. Anonymous individual who feeds firsthand information to gossip press. 2. Nobody.
Example: Our tipster tells us that Pam and Hugh Hefner “didn’t come up for air all night” and “definitely left together” and “had sex” and “didn’t use a condom!” Uh oh! More like Hugh Hep-ner!
Closest Real-Life Use: [In the 1930s] “Nyah, see? They calls ‘em the Chatanooga Tipster, see? Cause when ya step inta the ring with ‘em, he makes ya tip over with his left hook!”
2. Baby Bump
Noun; Visible sign of female pregnancy, usually speculative.
Example: Whoa! Is that Nicole Richie’s baby bump, or did she just eat a raisin???
Closest Real-Life Use: “Check it out — Those two highly coordinated babies are re-enacting a 70s dance craze.”
Verb; To snuggle affectionately, or just to be in the same building or city as one another. Almost exclusively used in participle form.
Example: Our tipster dished an item about a certain pop tard trading in her hot bod pix for a baby bump — looks like she and her new crooner beau are doing more than just canoodling!
Closest Real-Life Use: “Did you see this article? Apparently, these two celebrities were spotted canoodling, whatever the f*ck that means.”
[HONORABLE MENTIONS: C-lister, popwreck, hubby, celebutard, celebuspawn, rep, spies, prenup, exclusive, Cloud 9, retracted, mommyhood]