TOP CHEF RECAP: Down To The Final Three, Plus Some Bandana Chick


TramatoBEST QUOTE: “I’ll take the shot, bro” — Rick Tramanto, 21-year old steakhouse entrepreneur and O.A.R. fan

BEST PRODUCT SHOT: Richard unfolds a white garbage bag with a huge red GLAD logo on it. I’m pretty sure I’ve been using white GLAD garbage bags my entire life, and while my eyes aren’t great at seeing the color red or white or the letters A, D, G, or L, I am preeeeetttty sure that those million GLAD trash bags I’ve gone through did not have that logo on it. Yes, a million. I use one bag per thing.

BEST CLIP OF PADMA LAKSHIMI TURNING INTO A 1950s ROBOT (aka, Most Seamless Audio Editing in TV History):


Spikey– If there has ever, EVER been a time for the reality-show “you’re both gone!” twist in the history of reality-show “you’re both gone!” twists, it was last night’s pre-Finale Top Chef. The idea of having either Spike or Lisa in the finals is as egregious as “Idol” having to choose between William Hung or Cowardly Lion Woman to make it to Hollywood. On second thought, I would legitimately much rather hear an album from Cowardly Lion Woman than Daughtrey.

— Also, when Tom was like, “Lisa, you’ve been in the bottom five times, and Spike, you’ve been in the bottom seven times,” did anyone else yell at their tv, “Then why the f*ck are they both still here, Tommy Coalz?” (That’s what we all call him). My friend was claiming that this proves that the judges are bending to the will of the producers, but why the f*ck would the producers want to keep Lisa around? Do they own stock in ‘unpleasant?’

After the jump — My thoughts on the episode, updated Rankings, and proof that Lisa is the devil:

Richard– When Spike was all confident about his butchering experience, weren’t we all really really hoping that he’d totally suck at it? I was disappointed to learn that he has one actual non-hat-related skill, but I’m glad karma caught up with him. The karma of always cooking sh*ttily, that is, not the karma of China mistreating Tibet.

— I also kept thinking it would be funny if the final weren’t in Puerto Rico, and every time they said “you’re going to Puerto Rico” they just meant they were just randomly exiling the good chefs to Puerto Rico for the hell of it. I amuse myself.

— The triumphant acoustic guitar right after Stephanie was announced as the winner sounded exactly like the intro to the Neutral Milk Hotel song “Ghost.”

— BNE regular Max Silvestri weighs in with his thoughts on the episode:

Lisa gif


1) Stephanie

2) Richard – Stumbled a bit this week and looking slightly mortal; I wouldn’t be totally surprised if the final comes down to Stephanie and Antonia to remove the tension of whether or not Bravo would automatically pick a female chef to win this season)

3) Antonia – Still doing well, but the judges never speak of her with the same superlatives that get used on Stephanie and Richard.

4) My Ass

5) Lisa

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