LOST SEASON 4 FINALE RECAP: So Rose Was The Smoke Monster???

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This is a recap of the Lost episodes “There’s No Place Like Home” Parts 2 and 3, originally airing May 29th, 2008. If you haven’t seen the finale yet, by all means, you should definitely keep reading on, because now’s as good a time as any to start watching the series. There’s not a lot to pick up.

REST IN PEACE, UNLESS YOU’RE ALL STILL ALIVE

Finale Ben JackIt appears that we lost Michael and Jin this week, though I’ve steadfastly expected Jin not to actually die and I still maintain that we’ll be seeing him again somewhere down the line. Michael’s exit was punctuated by a quick Christian Shepard / Jacob appearance telling him “you can go now” shortly before the freighter explosion, calling to mind the idea of the island not allowing its inhabitants to leave or die until they’ve fulfilled some sort of moral purpose, like Charlie. It’s unclear whether Jin has also fulfilled his purpose; he did father a child and safely get Sun onto the helicopter, but would Jacob really decree that the baby grow up fatherless? I’m blowing off Daniel Kim’s DUI and predicting we’ll see a Jin in-between island-ghost next season.

We also predictably saw the end of Keamy this week, though the islanders ignored my cries of “shoot him in the head while he’s down! Did you not learn anything from Eyepatch Dude??” (Did you like how he kept repeating that he was wearing body armor, like “it makes sense I’m still alive, viewers!”) Fortunately, Ben was there to pick up the slack, stabbing Keamy repeatedly in the neck in a rare display of unbridled passion, thus activating the explosives on the freighter via the heart-rate-monitoring detonator that Lost completely stole from Andrew Dice Clay’s character in the 90′s action movie “No Contest”. You catch that one, Lostpedia? Didn’t think you did. All you true “Lost” fans better go out and rent that movie, it’s probably full of clues about what’s in store for Season Five (BWE is not liable if you actually end up doing this).

LOCKE AND LOADE

Locke CoffinBig week for Locke, who not only succeeded in moving the island (with a lil’ manual labor help from Ben), but also inherited dominion over Richard Alpert and The Others, then somehow made his way back to the mainland and into the much talked-about coffin from the Season 3 finale. My prediction about a last-second shot of Locke before the final “LOST” end titler for nine months was correct in theory, but I kind of expected him to have a heart rate — everything that was set up for four seasons about Locke being chosen by Jacob, regaining his legs and surviving a gutshot, interacting with Jacob, and taking over the island was called into question in that final shot.

Regardless of the specifics, Locke had to have realized that his death was the one way to unite the Oceanic Six and convince them to return to the island. Hell, he might even pop back to life if he ends up back there. Locke is also being referred to by the mainlanders with the alias “Jeremy Bentham,” which is the name of another prominent socially progressive English philosopher, as we all know [pours brandy into pipe, takes puff] — we also know that Locke has contacted Jack and Kate, but the mainlanders’ across-the-board usage of the alias suggests that Locke and the entire Oceanic Six have collaborated since his island-move. Wonder if he visited Sayid?

Widmore finaleCan we assume Locke’s urgency is prompted by Widmore tracking down the island’s new location, likely with some collaboration from Sun, and the island is in distress? We can assume Locke inherited Ben’s ability to jump back and forth from to the mainland, but perhaps he’s also jumping through time and ended up dead after Widmore ‘changed the rules’ again?

We were all expecting a last-second shot designed to have us squabbling all summer, but that, especially after a full episode of destiny-fulfilling triumph for Locke, was sufficiently offputting.

THE 2008 LOSTIES: WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

FrrraidayOff The Island: The Oceanic Six, plus Desmond (following an abrupt but pleasant reunion scene with Penny) and Frank, though the Six are in increasing stages of remorse / dementia / beard growth.

On The Island: Juliet, Sawyer (after a Daniel Craig emerging-from-the-ocean homage), Alpert, Miles, Charlotte (who Miles claims has ‘come back’ to the island, possibly labeling Miles as a time-jumper), Rose, Bernard, The Others, handful of extras

MIA: Michael and Jin, both theoretically dead, Claire (more on her in a sec), Farraday (who seemed to foresee his isolation long in advance, and was surprised when Charlotte didn’t join him), another handful of extras

GLAD WE TIED UP THAT CLAIRE STORYLINE NEATLY

Claire finaleWe only received one cameo appearance from Aaron’s natural mother, who dropped by in a ghostly dream sequence to warn Kate not to bring Aaron back to the island. Besides an offhand remark from Hurley about “going back to save Claire,” she was literally not mentioned again the entire episode, concluding a full season in which she appeared about as often as Mark McKinney during his stint on SNL. Whatever she is, it’s clearly not alive.

There was tons of action and information in this episode, so I’m not complaining, but the whole Claire plotline was another instance of us fans saying “well they have to finally explain so-and-so in this episode” and the producers shooting back “we ain’t gotta ‘splain s**t.”

BEN RANDOMLY WARPS TO WORLD SIX FROM MARIO 3

Ice WorldThe codename for the finale during production was “Frozen Donkey Wheel,” which sounded like a goofy, standard “in secretive production” working-title, except for the fact that the episode actually had a damn frozen wheel in it. Where does Ben’s sudden stumble into the North Pole rank on the show’s list of least expected scenes? Somewhere in the Top 100, for sure.

Is it possible that the island was ‘moved’ right before Oceanic 815 crashed, possibly even deliberately moved to make it crash, and that’s how a polar bear made its way onto the island (and not those bear cages)? Does that frozen ‘exit’ world also lead to the desert, and that’s how Ben ended up there seemingly out of nowhere in a flash-forward and Charlotte discovered the bones of a polar bear buried in the sand? Also, were those shots of the people monitoring activity from a snowy base back at the end of Season 2 somewhere near the Wheel area?

These questions aren’t rhetorical — I am wheely confused.

CRAZY CRYPTIC POTPOURRI

Octagonoctagonglobalrecruiting.com? Seems like it could be helpful for finding those unpaid ichthyologist jobs, the ones on Craigslist always have like 9,000 responses.

– Anyone count the number of Kate-Sawyer and Kate-Jack flirty glances exchanged in the first half of the finale? The answer is 7 billion.

– Farraday probably sucks at poker.

– Sawyer’s “Kenny Rogers” crack to Frank was a bit on the nose to be vintage Sawyer, but still probably the episode’s best throwaway line.

– And finally, I’ll end my final Lost Recap of 2008 (tear) with the funniest camera shot in the history of the show. During a completely standard shot inside the helicopter during the group’s initial trip back to the freighter, the cameraman very deliberately tilted the camera halfway through the shot to get a better view of Kate’s cleavage:

Kate Cleave

This is it, Lost fans. Thoughts, observations, theories, more screengrabs of Kate’s cleavage — leave it all in the comments! We won’t be doing this again for six hundred months, and who knows — the internet may not even exist anymore!