Kanye West Is Angry, Believes He’s In The Truman Show

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033-kanye-west.jpgKanye is MAD, you guys. This is no joke – we’ve insulted him with our complaining, and now we’ve awakened the beast of rage within him. He’s written a speech on his blog that makes Braveheart‘s pre-war speech sound like a goddamn nursery rhyme:

…this is the maddest I ever will be. I’m typing so f*cking hard I might break my f*cking Mac book Air!!!!!!!! Call me any name you want…. arrogant, conceited, narcissistic, racist, metro, fag whatever you can think of…. BUT NEVER SAY I DIDN’T GIVE MY ALL!
NEVER SAY I DIDN’T GIVE MY ALL!

Holy sh*tballs, he’s about to BREAK HIS MAC BOOK AIR – this is really serious. He then goes on, daring the haters to stand in a room and say the words aloud “KANYE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT GIVING A GOOD PERFORMANCE.”

Kanye-West-Late-Orchestratio-35.jpgWhat will happen? A teddy bear wearing sunglasses will appear and slit your throat, that’s what.

Read more of this speech, after the jump.

“BONNAROO SHOULD HAVE RELEASED A STATEMENT IN MY DEFENSE BUT SINCE THEY HAVEN’T LET’S BREAK DOWN THE WALLS ON THIS TRUMAN SHOW AND LET YOU KNOW WHAT REALLY OCCURRED!!!”

Way to take a stand against Ed Harris!

293.west.kanye.2.021008.jpg“I HAVE A FUCKING LIGHT SHOW DUMB ASS, IT’S NOT CALLED GLOW IN THE DARK FOR NO REASON SQUID BRAINS!”

Daaaaaaaaaaamn. He played the squid brains card!

“PEARL JAM ENDED ONE HOUR LATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Pearl Jam, do you see the amount of exclamation points there? You should be ashamed of yourselves.

In response to the water that had been thrown on stage by the angry fans, Kanye says:

“THERE WAS SO MUCH LIQUID ON THE STAGE I COULDN’T MOVE WITHOUT SLIPPING. I HAD TO ADJUST MY WHOLE PERFORMANCE STYLE BECAUSE OF IT.”

He had to adjust his performance style from super-late to slippery-late! Do you understand what kind of quick-thinking and stamina that requires? OBVIOUSLY F*&#ING NOT, YOU OCTOPUS HEAD! He then goes on to confess the difficulties of performing “Stronger”, and how it’s something he’s been struggling with for months.

kanye-west-shades2.jpg“I HAVE TO ICE MY KNEES AFTER EVERY SHOW AND THEY HURT WHEN I WALK THROUGH THE AIRPORT”

AND HE GETS A CALLOUS ON HIS THUMB FROM HOLDING A MICROPHONE AND HE SUFFERS FROM A VERY RARE CONDITION KNOWN AS “CRAZY ZEBRA-LINE EYES” FROM WEARING THOSE AWESOME SHUTTER SHADES AND LIFE IS HARD YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

!

(Via Stereogum)

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