The Video Game Primal Rage Is Coming To The History Channel Next Week

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When I first saw the subway ads for the History Channel’s new show Jurassic Fight Club, the mass of useless memories I call my brain immediately imagined a tv show version of the classic existed video game Primal Rage (either that, or the History Channel was airing a forced, non-topical movie mashup). As a quick refresher, here’s what the game Primal Rage — basically a Street Fighter 2 / Mortal Kombat clone with dinosaurs instead of people and with complete unplayability instead of fun — looked like:

Primal Rage cap

I proceeded to the Jurassic Fight Club website to dive deeper into this theory, and there discovered the Jurassic Fight Club “Turf Wars” game, which looks uhhhh little something… like this:

History Channel Game

Long story short, a fighting game from 1994 in which digital dinosaurs and apes battle one another in jerky, inconvenient motions in an effort to blow up each others’ hearts or brains is going to air on the History Channel next week. Also, if the Primal Rage people didn’t have a hand in developing the “Turf Wars” game on the History Channel’s website, then they’ve got every right to sue the History Channel for every penny they make off this thing (nine).

I can’t wait til this Fall when the History Channel begins airing Hologram Battle Society, loosely based on the arcade game Holosseum.

(Incidentally, while searching for Primal Rage screenshots, I came across these really funny caps from the Game Gear version. Fortunately, you only had to see them for like twelve minutes before the battery kicked.)