Archives Monday, July 28, 2008

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…OF THE DAY: She Will Steal Your Breath And Kill You!

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  • NAOMI CAMPBELL KNOWS HOW TO KISS: Russian billionaire Vladislav Doronin calls over his servant to remove the barnacle attached to his face. (ONTD)
  • AMY WINEHOSPITAL: Amy has once again been rushed to the hospital. I’m crossing my fingers it’s just a fractured tailbone…but deep in my heart I know it’s probably Amy Winehouse syndrome. (dListed)
  • LEAST SHOCKING NEWS OF THE DAY: Eliot Spitzer’s fave call-girl, Ashley Dupre, will be getting $2 million for a reality show. Producer David Krieff says it won’t be a Tila Tequila style show, but something positive, because, according to Krieff, Ashley considers herself to be a sort of Dr. Phil. (Jossip)
  • LINDA, SAY YOUR PRAYERS: Hulk Hogan says that he’s never had a more “formidable opponent” than his wife Linda, referring specifically to her metaphorical “steel knuckles” during their divorce proceedings. Does that mean he’s going to do the Atomic Leg Drop on her in the courtroom? (UsMagazine)
  • JOHN NO-HAIR: John Mayer chopped off all his hair, and now he kind of looks like Jim Carrey, right?(People)

by (@katespencer)

The Summer Of ‘O8 In Bikinis

The summer of 2008 is almost over (yes, it’s time to buy school clothes again), so let’s celebrate the few blissful weeks we have left with an homage to the best celebrity bikini bods to grace the beach since June. The days are long and the thongs are short – just the way summer life should be.

Put down that Dark Knight ticket down and get clicking instead. You’ll be able to enjoy Aaron Eckhart‘s f*cked up face on DVD in just a few months, but summer – and those summer booties – only come around once a year.

In the pics below Naomi Campbell steals a kiss, Claire Danes snaps a pic, and Brooke Hogan poses – all while practically naked!

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BWE FULL EPISODE: National Chickfight Week

Chickfights reigned supreme (Christian Bale semi-included), Corey Feldman conquered yet another medium, and Matthew McConaughey gave birth to a child and an even more important baby, the movie Surfer, Dude. But which one is having the Best Week Ever?? It’s gotta be the movie Surfer Comma Dude, right?

Enjoy it while you can, folks, cause Best Week Ever is off until September 12th! Don’t worry though, it’ll be business as usual all August on BWE.tv — meaning, of course, retarded photos, obscure and borderline irrelavent top 10 lists, and plenty of online videos to waste your life! Yayyyyy!!!!

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She & Him Exactly As Adorable As Zooey Deschanel Herself

ZOOEY DESCH1235.jpgSaturday night, I joined a couple thousand other people at New York’s Terminal 5 to catch She & Him, a band fronted by the velvety vocals of M. Ward and the angelic stylings of lead singer Zooey Deschanel. You may remember Zooey showed of some of her vocal talents in the film Elf, where her singing basically propelled Santa’s sleigh back into the sky. Well, after seeing her live, something tells me she was almost holding her talent back in the movie, as her “actual” singing voice carried all the way upstairs, and was just pure and delightful. While she is just a smidge too modest while on stage, the concert was a huge success. I’ve been listening to the She & Him: Volume 1 album ever since (i.e. for about 36 hours now). It’s a little old fashioned, a little June Carter Cashy, and sort of like songs that you’ve heard before, reimagined. In other words, pleasant and slightly addictive. And if I owned a car in this nightmare city, I gather it would make great driving music. I have instead opted to upload it to the miniature Zune I was recently given, and can vouch that it also makes great subwaying music. So, you know, check it out and such.

Here’s their slowed down cover of “You Really Got a Hold on Me”. (Photo via Familiar Snorkel)

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TRAILER MIX: Oliver Stone’s “W” Sure To Unite Political Parties With Its Utter Ridiculousness

When I first saw the poster / wacky page-a-day calendar for the upcoming Oliver Stone biopic W, I immediately feared that Stone’s bludgeoning of a dead horse with another dead horse might actually generate a sudden sympathy for Bush in the weeks just prior to this year’s presidential election.

The trailer, however, offers some hope — it appears that the movie is going to be so frickin’ ridiculous, it will not be taken seriously by anyone on either end of the political spectrum, and may, in fact, bring us all together to share a good bipartisan laugh at Stone’s expense. For example:

You want an ass whipping?

Try it, old man!

[Sound of Democrats and Republicans in the crowd laughing together in harmony]

[Did you notice, the final "W" title screen comes up right as the words "Wonderful World" are sung? This is not only completely and hilariously unsubtle, it's also meaningless. I can't wait for this film.]

by (@katespencer)

Gossip Break: Miley’s Makeout Session

New Miley Cyrus candid kissing pics: now with 10% more slutiness! [ONTD]

John Mayer‘s O face is way less sexy with his new haircut (sorry Jeniston). [DListed]

Jerry O’Connell and Rebecca Romjin are adding to their cuteness with twin babies. [Seriously? OMG!]

Ryan Seacrest was bitten by a shark while swimming. In other news, I love sharks. [ICYDK]

Rihanna and Chris Brown go jet skiing in Maryland. Yeah, we don’t care either. [Bossip]

Lindsay Lohan was not hit by a motorcycle, no matter what her crazy dad says. [PopSugar]

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News Flash: Cartoons Aren’t Real

By now, we’re used to the “results not typical” disclaimer in barely legible type at the bottom of every diet product commercial. But this new commercial for SlimShots goes one step further: they let us know that cartoons are a part of a dramatization, and that real people will gain nothing from using SlimShots.

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Good thing they told me, because when the cartoon lady’s waist shrunk magically from fat to skinny, I really thought that was going to happen to me, too. Also, does anyone notice that SlimShots look like little packets of butter?

by (@katespencer)

Britney’s Ass Looks Better in Cabo

Britney Spears is on vacation this week in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, with hotelier George Maloof. Because, you know, being a little bit less insane is seriously hard work.

But for reals – Brit looks pretty good! We don’t see any daiquiri stains on her white bikini yet, surely that is a good sign. We like that her friend is filming the pool party with a giant video camera from 1984. All Brit needs is a couple more tequila shots, and that sex tape is finally gonna happen.

[Photos: Splash News]

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The 18 Weirdest Striptease Songs

nomoreiloveyou.JPGThis weekend my friend was telling me about a bachelor party he attended recently, which took them to a strip club, where they witnessed a girl stripping to the song No More I Love You’s by Annie Lennox. We laughed at how out of place this song is for a strip joint, and I began to wonder what on earth made this woman choose a song that conjures up either the image of a Tim-Burton-esque drag queen ballet, or Pete Holmes doing his Ray Romano impression. Perhaps she was taking the whole stripping-as-art thing to a new level? It’s hard to imagine your regular Scores customer getting it.

Of course, that’s why I’m calling these the weirdest striptease songs – not necessarily the least sexy. Because, after all, who are we to judge the special bond between a stripper and her client? If you wanna dress up in a bear suit and watch a girl strip to the theme song from Gummi Bears, that’s your business. Nevertheless, if you’re a stripper and are looking to avoid freaking everyone out, you might want to take a gander at this list. (And please tell us in the comments: what’s the weirdest song you ever heard played in a strip club?)

tiny_tim1.jpg18. The Circle Of Life from The Lion King. The only circle of life in this strip club is the one inside the stripper’s vagina.

17. Tip Toe Through The Tulips by Tiny Tim. Um, no.

16. Fast Car by Tracy Chapman. The saddest song ever written about getting stuck living in a shelter and having no opportunities = awwwwkward.

15. Upside Down by Jack Johnson. The stripper may be sliding down the pole upside down, but anything that conjures the image of little kids happily watching Curious George should not be allowed in a strip club.

14. You Raise Me Up by Josh Groban. This raises the question: should a striptease also make you feel like you’re riding on the wings of an eagle, and bring tears of joy to your eye?

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