Old people commit drunken crimes of passion too – or have we already forgotten Arrested Development‘s Lucille Bluth? Prosecutors in New Jersey are charging Marlene Mackenzie, 76, with aggravated assault and reckless manslaughter for killing her 80-year-old husband with a cocktail glass. Mackenzie had been drinking early last Thursday when she accused her husband of infidelity and beaned him with her glass. Though she called 911 after realizing he had stopped breathing, doctors failed to resuscitate the aging player. Rule one of Citizen Scandal is “would a celebrity potentially do somethng like this?” Seeing as how it requires drinking cocktails on a Thursday morning, the answer is obviously yes.