Alaskan Senator Accepts Bribes, Denies Wrongdoing

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It’s a tough year to be a Republican. First there was the Larry Craig sex sting, and now this: the longest sitting Republican senator, Ted Stevens of Alaska, has been indicted on seven counts of failing to disclose financial records. The 83-year-old allegedly received bribes from Alaskan oil contractors VECO Corp. in the form of the remodeling of his vacation home. Stevens denies any implication of wrongdoing, even though VECO’s CEO testified to bribing the government official, and performing work on the senator’s home.

So what did the crazy old coot from Alaska get? His once modest 1200-square-foot home in Anchorage was expanded into a 10-bedroom, 3-bathroom ski palace with a wraparound deck and brand new furniture. Agents from the FBI and IRS arrived with a warrant to investigate the contents of the house.

In a statement on his website this morning, Stevens said “It saddens me to learn that these charges have been brought against me. I have never knowingly submitted a false disclosure form required by law as a U.S. Senator.” Maybe he’s so old he forgot?