John Wayne Bobbitt was as dumb as a bag of hammers. His wife Lorena was crazier than a bag of wasps. On June 23, 1993, their abusive relationship reached a tipping point when John Wayne forced himself on Lorena. “He always has orgasm and he doesn’t wait for me to have orgasm,” the Ecuadorian Lorena later complained. “He’s selfish.” While J.W. slept, out came the steak knife, and off came his wang.
Lorena fled the scene. When it dawned on her what she had done, she threw the offending appendage into a nearby field. She was later found not guilty due to temporary insanity.
JW, meanwhile, successfully had his old feller reattached in a nine-and-a-half-hour operation, and later embarked on an unspectacular career in porn films. — Charles Bottomley