LiLo’s Dad Doesn’t Do Gay Marriage, Just 24-Year Olds

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Lindsay Lohan should not bother asking her dad to walk her down the aisle if the person waiting for her at the altar in a tux is Samantha Ronson. Her dad Michael – a noble man of great scruples – just ain’t down with the lady-on-lady love. “I haven’t heard anything (about an upcoming wedding) from Lindsay, but if she was marrying Sam, I don’t think she’d ask me to walk her down the aisle,” says Pops Lohan. “She knows about my (Christian) faith … she just wouldn’t ask.”

Of course, of course. Michael is a spiritual guy who has risen above scandal and scum to lead his perfect, moralistic life by example. Why, just ask his 24-year old girlfriend, Erin (pictured above)! Yep, the 48-year old father of four is busy banging some chick just two years older than Linds, who he loves because she “has a great family and I love her dad”. And his pure, precious girlfriend? She’s passionate about guzzling booze, having once told HollywoodPoker, “I can drink most men under the table.”

Just as long as she doesn’t marry a girl!

[Photo: Splash Online]

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