Citizen Scandal: Man Makes Love To Park Bench, Gets Stuck

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Here’s something to help John Edwards put his sex scandal in perspective. A 41-year-old man had to call Hong Kong police after he couldn’t remove his (boing sound effect) from a steel grated bench he was humping late last Wednesday. If you’re already crossing your legs, gents, stop reading now. Despite doctors removing removing some blood from his….good lord, don’t tell me how…the man’s member remained too swollen to be pulled from the hole. Paramedics had to take the bench along with him to the hospital, where it took four hours to pry the poor guy loose. No word on if he blamed his increasing narcissism and egomania. [Weird Asia News via Best Week Ever]