John Mayer Discards The Aging, Lonely And Childless Aniston

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How many goofy headlines can you come up with to describe John Mayer dumping Jennifer Aniston? Our attempts:

  • Jen Aniston Stops Receiving Love Treatment At The Mayer Clinic
  • Jen’s Ex-Boyfriend Has A Second Name, It’s M-A-Y-E-R
  • Aniston Asks For Love Sandwich, Holds The Mayernaise

Give it a try – it’ll make the healing process easier. John is done with Jen, and has sent her on her way to try to marry and get knocked up by some other sleazy 29-year old cheeseball with tattoo sleeves. Our suggestions? Topher Grace, Wilmer Valderrama – er, maybe she should just mack the entire cast of That 70′s Show and see what happens. John, however, is probably feeling pretty great these days. This dude clearly made up some list when he was 16 of all the famous chicks he wanted to bone, and he’s slowly been checking it off, one after the other. Jennifer Love Hewitt! Check. Jessica Simpson! Check. Rachel from Friends! Check. Look out Alyssa Milano! The Mayer bone machine is coming for you. [TheMirror]

[Photo: Getty Images]

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