I’m Lovin’ This McDonald’s Commercial

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When I was a little girl I played soccer for one season. My position was “person who stays away from the ball,” because my shins were the size of chicken bones and I was afraid they’d get smashed by so many little kid legs trying to kick at the ball. I also remember faking “cramps” in my abdomen (I was 7, so I’m not sure what condition I claimed to have) so that I could sit out games. I was a true sportsman, you see.

Lucky for me, our team was so awful, that when my little cramp charade didn’t work and I had to be on the field, the ball never even came down to our end. We won only one game, at the very end of the season, and I remember it being one of the most glorious moments of my life. Our entire team came together, hugging and screaming in a frenzy. We acted as if we’d just won the World Cup.

So maybe that’s why I love this McDonald’s Commercial that has been playing during the Olympics. At the beginning, you’ll be crying tears of sadness, and at the end, tears of cuteness.

Imagine how CRUSHED the little girls on the Chinese gymnastics team would have been if U.S. coach Bela Karolyi had brought in some Mickey D’s for the American women after they lost the gold?

It just goes to show you that losing is okay as long as you have some transfatty, processed chicken parts to eat. Or that, if, early in your life, you realize you have no athletic ability, it is best to just succumb to the inevitable and start eating yourself to death.

I’m pretty sure I’m going to take a screenshot of that kid at the very end and put it up in my cubicle. Oh, and the song, if you’re wondering, is “A Minha Menina,” written by Ben Jorge and recorded by the Brazilian band Os Mutantes.

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