While You Were Suspending Your Disbelief

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  • Perez Hilton has released a song called “The Clap”. Listening to the song is kind of like having the clap, on top of a burning scab, in your ear, which is bleeding. Basically this is the most horrible thing you’ll ever hear in your life and you should only listen to it if you’re a cutter.
  • VH1 has made a list of the 100 Greatest Hip Hop Songs of All Time, with “Fight The Power” taking the top spot. Luckily Flavor Flav was on hand to accept the award, and reaffirm his continued commitment to fighting said power by pretending to date crazy whores on his nightmare of a reality show.
  • Also putting in a late bid for the title of greatest rapper of all time: Ed McMahon.
  • Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are reportedly in couples counseling and considering the idea of getting back together. Now that she’s showed her vagina to the world, gone crazy on drugs, dated a paparazzo, ventured within an itch of total mental collapse and picked up a few VMA awards on the way back to sanity, I say why not?
  • John McCain spends more than $5,500 on the make-up that makes him look like a shriveled old albino prune.