Scarlett Johansson Will Be Divorced In Six Months

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Scarlett “Great Boobs” Johansson is only 23-years old, but everyone knows she’s way mature because she’s been playing restless married ladies in movies since she was 19. So it’s only natural that she’d buck convention and marry a dude eight years older than her this weekend at a remote spot in the Canadian wilderness! Congratulations! You’re crazy!

You can blame Ryan Reynolds, acting luminary and star of such masterpieces as Van Wilder and Just Friends, for ruining your chances with Woody Allen‘s muse; he jumped on the ScarJo train right after breaking up with former gal pal Alanis Morrisette. We’d give the pair a year, tops, but even that feels generous. [People. [Photo: Splash News Online]