So Joe Jonas, the nineteen year old “eyebrows” Jonas Brother, kicked his angelic girlfriend to the curb. Poor little country star Taylor Swift is reportedly heartbroken, and who wouldn’t be if you were eighteen and the most popular virgin in America didn’t want to heavy pet you anymore. But here’s where it gets worse! Joe, who reportedly dated Taylor for “several months” did the deed over the phone, which is the sh*ttiest, shadiest, lamest, safest, smartest, most awesome way to dump someone, ever. We hope that Joe at least found inspiration for the break up in his lyrics (cue dream sequence music and lighting):
Joe: Hold on tight, it’s a roller coaster ride we’re on so say goodbye, cause I won’t be back again. Up and down you’re all around, say goodnight and goodbye.
Taylor: You’re dumping me? What the fudge are you talkin’ bout?
Joe: Well girl, I’m sorry for disappointing you, but I’m done with being up and down and pushed around. No more.
Taylor: But we had so much fun making out during Toy Story the other night!
Joe: Er, wait a second. Ah, here we go: I can’t get your smile out of my mind. I think bout your eyes all the time. Beautiful but you don’t even try.
Taylor: I thought you said you were dumping me?!
Joe: Oops, wrong song. I got confused, that one’s for that blond chick from Gossip Girl.
