OPEN THREAD: Your Worst Celebrity Sex Dream


May we present to you “Open Thread”, a new feature where we present you, the reader, with a question or topic, and you, now the “writer”, leave us your answer in the comments section.

To kick off “Open Thread”, we bring you a saucy, scintillating quandy: What Is Your Worst Celebrity Sex Dream?

I tell you mine after the jump. Here’s a hint:


My worst celebrity sex dream is one that has stayed with me for years.

Baaaazically, I found myself on a dinner date with John Goodman. Things were going swimmingly — as I delicately took a bite of salad, Goodman threw an entire plate of fettuccini back with zeal — until, suddenly, my dream jump cut to us “doing it” like animals. Until, suddenly, at the height of the experience… John Goodman threw up on me.

I repeat: John Goodman vomited all over me.

Now, please understand, this is not a practice I normally reserve for bedroom activities. In fact, thankfully, that’s never happened before. And yet, the one thing that has stayed with me from that dream (a dream that I had, mind you, about 4 or 5 years ago) is the heat. It wasn’t just a throwaway puke… I really felt it. And it’s a heat that has stayed with me, in my every waking moment.

The fact that I have dreams where one of television’s most unattractive stars pukes all over me probably speaks volumes. As does the fact that I’ve also had mental dalliances with Rob Schneider. My best friend once had a nightmarish rendesvous involving Biggie Smalls and a La-Z-Boy.

Now it’s your turn: Let us know about your worst celebrity sex dream in the comments!

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