JUST HEAR ME OUT — I’m Pretty Sure Daddy Yankee Is A Robot


Exhibit A:

Daddy Yankee

Here’s Reggaeton superstar Daddy Yankee at Macy’s in New York City earlier today. This is the photo that first tipped me off — notice that he looks exactly like a f*cking robot. Here’s an additional photo to prove that this wasn’t just some one-time fluke lighting effect. He was at Macy’s to launch his new ‘DY’ fragrance….FOR ROBOTS?

Exhibit B:

Daddy Children

Here is Daddy Yankee constructing an army of metal men — also known as ‘Kiddie Yankees’ — in preparation for the Great Robot Revolution of 2017, in which the robots, incapable of mercy, will attempt to eradicate all human life. The medallion around his neck controls them, obviously.

Exhibit C:

Daddy Heart

Here is Daddy Yankee revealing his metal robot heart on the red carpet at the ‘Premio Lo Nuestro Awards,’ a gathering of secret robots which operates under the guise of being a Latin Music Awards Show, much like the “American Music Awards” for robots in the U.S.

Exhibit D:

Daddy Robo Revolution

This is a photo of Daddy Yankee leading a team of Robo Storm Troopers into battle during the Great Robot Revolution of 2017. The photo was sent back in time from fellow rapper/Reggaeton star Pitbull, along with a message pleading with people in 2008 not to ignore the obvious signs, such as Daddy Yankee’s superhuman sense of rhythm and the photos in Exhibit A, and to pre-emptively strike at the robots before they can get to us. Someone else will have to take up this task, as I expect to be eradicated shortly for writing this post.

Exhibit E:

Not Photoshopped Terminator Picture

Daddy Yankee naked. Draw your own conclusions.

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