While You Were Laughing So Hard, You Burst a Blood-Vessel In Your Eye (Seriously.)

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  • Jaden Smith has been confirmed to star in the new Karate Kid remake. Ralph Macchio, meanwhile, has been confirmed as San Fernando Valley’s “Most Recognizable Barrista.”
  • Dear God: Please give poor Michelle Williams a break already. Love, Humanity.
  • YE GODS NO. As though one Wizard of Oz movie wasn’t already enough, Hollywood has decided to take it to new levels of nightmarish intensity and recreate it for the new millenium… using computer animation. Now will it be an actual digital cowardly lion? Or will they still digitize that freaky human face in lion makeup?
  • If anyone happens to see Tim Robbins shuffling around the West Village in a tattered ermine robe with one slipper on, holding a broken Ikea lamp in one hand and eating a cherry pop tart with the other, pay him no mind: He’s gone off the deep end.
  • We debated showing you these Daniel Radcliffe nude photos yesterday, because Lord knows Peen Beat is one of our favorite magazines. Then, it occurred to us that Dan-Rad might not want photos of his miniscule member being splashed all over the web, so we thought “OK, let’s be ladies about this and not breathe a word.” Then, today, I was all… “F**k it.”