Gwyneth: Not Like The Rest Of Us

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Gwyneth Paltrow watched way too much Oprah Winfrey over the years, and got the dumb idea that she too could be an accessible role model to millions of regular women. The only problem is – Gywneth is anything but ordinary, and sadly she has no idea how privileged and pompous she comes across. In her weekly emails sent out on behalf of her poorly-named, minimalistic website, GOOP, Gwynnie advises us clueless, helpless ladies about simple things we can do to improve our life. Things like: Detoxification cleansing! Soy and sesame mayonnaise! Investing in Chanel dresses to pass on to our daughters that we have yet to conceive!

Those tips hardly apply to us, and we imagine that puts us in the majority of GOOP’s readers. But Gwyn really outdid herself with her latest email chock full of fashion tips about the little black dress. While she tried to represent all economic brackets – from Zara to Balenciaga, she says! – she then models the looks in the most expensive shoes our AMEX has ever seen. There’s no Payless or Target on her organic feet; Gwyneth models Giuseppi Zanotti, Roger Vivier, Brian Atwood, Christian Louboutin, and Gucci.

What have we learned? That while the little black dress may not set you back, dressing in Gwyneth’s shoes will. And that is a load of GOOP.