Some celebrities are famous the world over, have a legion of fans that follow their every move religiously, and an empire of merchandise advertising themselves. But that doesn’t mean these characters are any more compelling than the empty lunchboxes their faces are plastered all over. The Jonas Brothers, who’ve uttered about three words all year (they may have said more — but they’ve been drowned out by their shrieking fans) have about as much charisma as their live action figures, which is also true of fellow Disney factory product Selena Gomez. Gomez almost got interesting this year when Miley Cyrus mocked her milquetoast web videos, but that fire was quickly doused by Disney press releases. Jessica Alba scowled through ’08, putting out two cinematic bombs and a baby, and only occasionally breaking into a smile. As for former O.C. star Rachel Bilson, it seems that even she bored of her wooden on-screen performances, and has started a fashion line with DKNY.
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