Mr. And Mrs. Douchebag Pronounced Man And Wife

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So this is why there’s going to be a fifth season of The Hills. Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt eloped in Mexico this weekend, uniting their forces of loser-ness into one terrible marriage. The publicity-hungry pair are currently feeding all the details to Perez Hilton and Us Weekly, who will feature the wedding pics on their cover this week. As much as we loathe these two, we can’t wait to ogle over them decked out in virginal white. If you aren’t already gagging, here are the vows Spencer supposedly read to his beloved:

Heidi, from the moment you came into my life, I knew my life would never be the same without you. You are the light in my life like the sun to the earth! Your loving warmth makes me want to be a better person. Being with you, I feel complete. I’m honored to even be able to call you my wife. You are the most amazing, loving and caring woman on this planet. I will love you forever and always.

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