Oh, how we got a flutter of excitement in our bellies as Britney Spears took to the stage on The X-Factor in Britain on Saturday night — a day before MTV aired Britney: For The Record, an “expose” on her “comeback.” And oh, how that flutter became a knot of nerves as we realized that Britney is not really back up to fully-fuctioning superstar mode. Granted, it wasn’t a disaster on the 2007 MTV awards scale, but her performance wasn’t really worthy of golf claps, let alone the cringingly overdone standing ovation that she did get at the end of it. Soooo, let’s rate the Britney X-Factor!
Outfit: Fierce. As we mentioned earlier, she’s ripped off Madonna, but looks good so we forgive her. And the circus ringmaster hat is cute.
Hair: Not so good. The extensions are totally obvious, and someone got a little over-eager with the straighteners — so 2005.
Voice: Come on, Brit Brit! If you’re going to mime, at least do it convincingly! Totally rubbish.
Dance routine: Well, the actual dancers were excellent. But striding across the stage and doing the odd hair-flick does not a choreographed routine make. Seriously, it felt like Britney wasn’t “up” to doing a full-on dance.
Overall? Not the triumphant comeback we were hoping for, sadly. And as the British media is also full of reports at Britney’s diva-like behaviour backstage (sealing off whole areas and not bothering to watch the contestants’ performance), the whole event has been one great big disappointment. And in case you’re wondering? The M in M-Factor stands for “meh”. A great big pile of meh.