Learn How To Become Immortal From The Creepiest Man In The Universe

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Everything Is Terrible posted this gem today. It’s a how-to video about self hypnosis, and how it can provide you with immortality. Or something. All I know is that this man is the scariest motherf*cker I’ve seen in a long time. The worst part is – HE’S NEVER GOING TO DIE. I wonder if this is the precursor to The Secret?

If I was “Cher” in this video, I’d be playing dead too. Also: one time I called my sister a pain in the ass. Does that mean I’m going to die from ass cancer?