Happy New Year everybody! As you are shedding your 2008 husk to reveal the fresher, more supple 2009y you underneath, it’s time to get yourself a new one-liner. You know, that one joke you can pull out at just the right moment: whether it be the 5 minutes before a meeting starts at the office, or on a weekend brunch when you’ve finally got the table’s attention, or during those moments immediately following some intense love-making and you really need to lighten the mood. Usually this one-liner has a shelf life of one year, so it’s important to pick a good one. Well, never fear, because I have the PERFECT joke for you. My sister came up with this a couple of days ago, and I think she’s pretty much got a bright career ahead of her, if you ask me:
Where does the worst band in the world live?
Answer, after the jump!
3 DOORS DOWN!
BOOOOOM! HEYOOOOOOOOO!!!! YOU’RE WELCOME, HUMANITY! (If you don’t know who 3 Doors Down is, they’re responsible for such hits as “Kryptonite.” My apologies to 3 Doors Down fans…but can’t you admit how perfect this joke is? Also, you may have seen their commercial for the National Guard, which is a cheesy music video set to their song “Citizen Soldier,” and it plays before movies – a/k/a the exact time you want to be bombarded with a video making you feel guilty not only for not being in the army, but for going to see a movie at a time like this, you selfish A-hole! Yeah, how does that popcorn taste? Like freedom? Yeah, I thought so. Enjoy it, while our nation’s armed forces are out there risking their lives so you can add extra butter all over that sh*t!!!) Ahem. I provided the above animated gifs for those of you who would like to turn that joke into an e-mail forward.