LOST RECAP: Bizarre Love Octagon

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The following is a Recap of Lost Season 5 Episode 8 entitled “LaFleur”, originally airing March 4, 2009. If you haven’t seen the episode yet, then don’t read on, there’s a bunch of spoilers, including some huge ones about Life On Mars thrown in for good measure.

Sawyer FlowerSawyer was just your average everyday conman…

Son of a bitch!

Until he got stuck in the 1970s…

Dharma Initiative? We must be in the damn 70s!

Look at it this way – at least your hair’s back in style!

He’s findin’ out, sometimes even the best liar in the world…

What’s your name, maggot?

Uhmm… uhhhh… [looks over at Guy LaFleur Poster] LaFleur! James LaFleur.

Can’t lie…TO HIS HEART…

I love you, Sawyer.

SCRAAAAAATTTTTTCHHHHH!!!!!

I…….uhhhhhmmmmmmm…..derrrrrrrr…. der der derrrrrrr… I love you too! In fact, I totally forgot what Kate’s face looked like. Did it have freckles on it? I can’t remember if I used to call her “Freckles” all the time or “Regularface”. Oh well, let’s continue to make salads and f*ck.

Sawyer and JulietBut there was just one…KATE-ttle…problem…

I’m back, Sawyer!

SCRAAAAAATTTTTTCHHHHH!!!!!

Sonnnnooooofaaaaabitch…

Josh Holloway… Of all the time-warping islands, she had to walk into mine!

Evangeline Lilly… Our old bearcage! Come on in, what’re you so afraid of?

Elizabeth Mitchell… Wow, no guy has ever withstood my stinkface for more than a month, let alone three years!

And Dane Cook… [Reaches into fish tank, gets bitten by piranha, then is on fire]

BETTER KATE THAN NEVER

I never stopped loving you, Sawyer.

Son of a b–[EXPLOSION]

Tell Your Heart to Get LOST – March 18

Onto the real Recap…

Lost BiffAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWKWARD

Last night’s episode wasn’t particularly enthralling, but it set up a monumental subplot for the remainder of the series; the Sawyer/Juliet three-year hookup, much to the chagrin of my fellow Lost-watching buddies (chagrin means “swearing at a tv,” right?) was like an alley-oop for next episode’s slam dunk (am I sounding like a political brochure written for children and trying to be hip? That’s my intention.) Juliet succumbs to a long-standing attraction to Sawyer as indicated by about two-dozen conspicuous “loving glance” shots in prior episodes, and forgoes her chance to return to 1970s America to get rich with her future knowledge as a female Biff Tannen.

Jimmy Barrett LostJuliet and her shirted, shaven companion James LaFleur spend their three years together as Dharma employees, Juliet as a mechanic and Sawyer as head of security (former ex-con…wink!!), living together blissfully and doing their best not to spoil the ending of Empire Strikes Back for their co-workers. Their boss is ex-Locke-ghost-vision and former Ben Linus employer Horace, who opens the episode whipping dynamite around in a drunken stupor and ultimately reveals that he’s questioning if his pregnant wife has truly gotten over her former love. Horace’s line “Is three years really enough?” resonates with Sawyer deeply, and provides a nice, awkward segue into Kate’s eventual arrival on the island at the end of the episode.

Also, the actor who played Jimmy Barrett on Mad Men was also working for Dharma, presumably as an insult comedian.

I WAS ROOTING FOR DINOSAURS

Directly following Locke’s disappearance into the well, Sawyer, Juliet, Miles, Faraday, and Jin were briefly transported to an ancient time period featuring this statue:

Lost Statue

Lostpedia points out that the statue “appears to be holding an ankh, which is the Egyptian symbol for eternal life seen later on Paul’s necklace,” Paul being the deceased husband of Amy, who kept his ankh necklace after his death, which Horace ends up discovering three years later, thus igniting his drinking binge. In a show full of patterns, we can pretty much assume that Juliet is the next to befall this fate — next week’s episode might as well have just shown the scene where Juliet runs around drunkenly whipping dynamite at people.

THE RECORD FINALLY STOPPED SKIPPING — AW CRAP, IT’S ON “WILD HONEY PIE”

Alpert ConfusedThe brief dinosaur-free “ancient” period quickly gives way to the Flash to End All Flashes, knocking the islanders to the ground but ending their headaches and nosebleeds. This later prompts the most patronizing exchange in Lost history, in which Jin asks Faraday “No more flash?” and Faraday responds “No more flash. Here is shiny nickel for you Jin! You play it good now!” Also, if Lost has one more dialogue exchange of “Where are we? The question is WHEN are we! LOLOLOLROFL” I’m going to shoot the nearest bearded person to me.

In the midst of Sawyer’s elaborate “LaFleur” lie, the Dharma camp is approached by Others leader Alpert, who is so furious that the Dharma/Others truce has been breached that he storms into the Dharma barracks and sits down on a bench. Sawyer tells Alpert that he knows about the bomb and about his encounter with Locke and easily convinces Alpert that he’s not an actual Dharma member, and retains the truce by conceding Paul’s corpse to The Others. I realize none of this recap is in any order whatsoever — it’s up to you to figure out if I just wrote crap as I randomly thought of it, or if I’m intentionally emulating the time jumping in Lost. HINT: It’s the first thing.

LOSTDS AND ENDS

Lost Dharma Cars– Sawyer without glasses? Not Dharma material. Sawyer WITH glasses? Immediately President of the Universe.

– BEST LINE OF THE EP: “That looks like some kind of sonic fence!” – perhaps the first truly funny line the producers have thrown Juliet’s way?

– Sawyer telling Juliet “you’re gonna do great” before Amy’s baby delivery came off sounding so angry, like he was being sarcastic. I was hoping when he handed the flower to her at the end, he was gonna yell “I grabbed this flower for you, dammit!!”

– A friend of mine pointed out a probable voiceover mistake in the preview of the next episode, in which the ABC announcer declared “Loyal ties will be tested…”, which was probably intended to be “loyalties” and just read incorrectly. I hope the next episode is also an “extra ordinary” adventure.

– Daniel seeing baby Charlotte? I don’t know… It’s funny whenever a show with time warping islands and ghosts and Jesuses and smoke monsters and Juliet’s neckline can still sometimes make me shout out “I’m not really buying that………”

That’s all for me — leave your episode thoughts, theories, observations, favorite parts, predictions, and Sawyer/Juliet analysis in the comments, if you please.