• DO YOU REMEMBER THE CRIMES: Michael Jackson’s SUV was involved in a hit and run today with an ambulance in LA. Even his own vehicle is trying to get this man help. (NBC LA)
  • GYM CARE-Y: Gwyneth Paltrow has offered close friend and notorious overeater Mario Batali a free membership to her exclusive gym in an effort to get him into shape. And in a headline you will read in about 6 months, Mario Batali has had a heart attack on a pilates machine in Gwyneth Paltrow’s health club. (NY Post)
  • CHEETOH MY GOD: Every fat girl’s dream (read: my own) have finally come true, as the fine people over at the Cheetoh factory have finally done it: THEY HAVE CREATED ONE GIANT CHEETOH. And believe it or not… one man was brave enough to eat it. His description of “The Middle Part” is what My Last Supper will be made out of. (The Fab Life)
  • NO SENSE OF RUMOR: Good news for all you slutty dolphins out there: Michael Phelps claims to not be dating Miss California, and has confirmed his bachelorhood. She probably didn’t have enough rows of teeth to his liking. (Us Magazine)
  • SEE THIS SHOW!: Our by now famous intern Dave Rothstadt will be appearing in a hilarious sketch show called “Wacky Hijinks” both Friday and Saturday night in NYC. See him if only to get the scoop on what Dan and I are “really” like (read: awful people.) No, but really, see this show! (Ovation Tix)
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