LOST RECAP: The Word Of The Day Is “KILL”

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The following is a recap of Lost Season 5 Episode 15 entitled “Follow The Leader”, originally airing May 6, 2009. This post is so full of spoilers, if you keep reading, it will curdle any milk within an atomic-bomb blast zone radius.

Locke SpielLOCKE IS AN ANNOYING BOSS

Locke set a record for most sh*t-eating grins in one hour of television, exuding a creepy satisfaction throughout this entire episode that actually made me feel bad for Ben and Richard. Locke sure seems like he has a point, though; he taunts Ben with the knowledge that Ben’s never actually seen Jacob, and reveals this information to a collection of extras and Sun in the form of an infomercial spiel, with Sun even stepping forward and asking the scripted question “But can Jacob really bring my husband Jin back? Wow, I’d be a sucker NOT to give you my money!”

Ben and Richard then share a brief aside, in which they shadily discuss dealing with the John Locke “problem”:

 

Locke GrinHave Ben and Richard been co-opting the existence of Jacob to control the Others this whole time, even though they’ve never actually seen him? I doubt they’ve just been thinking they’re talking to Jacob and are wrong, there’s gotta be some level of Ben-conniving behind it, but Richard too? It’s just like the movie Zardoz!!! Anyone? This thing on? Alright, it’s a lot more like Locke is Jesus, but that analogy doesn’t involve a shirtless Sean Connery and a floating stone head (or maybe it does, I never read the thing cover to cover).

Ultimately, Locke reveals that he’s going to “kill” Jacob, making for the finest “WTF/awesome” cryptic ending line of the season. Are Jacob and “the island” at odds, and John is killing whatever they believe Jacob is to unleash the island’s true wishes? Wowee, that sentence sounds retarded. As for Richard’s equally-cryptic opening-titler line, “I remember them…I watched them all die,” does this mean that Jack’s bomb plan is going to blow up in his face (PUNPUNPUNPUN!) or that he’s witnessed a potential past that Jack and crew would only befall if they fail? Either way, awesome episode, for the second straight week, and it’s setting up for one BOMB-bastic finale (not a pun, that’s just how I believe that word is written.)

SAWYER IS GETTIN’ TOO OLD FOR THIS SH[EXPLOSION]

Sawyers MapSawyer got the crap beat out of him by a typically annoying Radzinsky last night — when the director called over the blood-makeup dude, he instinctively went over to Michael Emerson and they had to be like ‘no no, actually Sawyer this time’ — but refused to reveal the location of the Others or explain where Kate and Jack had gone and his relationship with them (also knowing that they’d never believe him). Phil then gets the brilliant and correct idea to make him talk by punching Juliet, which draws an immediate Sawyer “SON OF A BITCH,” though Sawyer is in a “boy cried wolf” situation with his “son of a bitch”es, where he says it so often and for such a range of reasons, that when he really means it, as in ‘stop punching my girlfriend you son of a bitch,’ it just doesn’t carry the same impact — it’d be like Rodney Dangerfield saying “I really and truly feel disrespected by that!”

Elephant in the SubMeanwhile, Radzinsky — who’s taking that gunshot rather well, I might add — decided he’s the leader of the Dharmas after they all ran onto the submarine and underwent a dramatic Crimson Tide mutiny-type situation that got cut for time, and strikes a deal to allow allow Sawyer and Juliet to board the sub in exchange for drawing a map of the hostiles. Sawyer and Juliet agree, and after several tense minutes of all of us viewers expecting Sawyer to take a valiant turn on his captors and escape and rush to help his friends, he merely turns and says “good riddance” to the island and boards the ship.

Buuuuut just when everything appeared like it wasn’t going to be an awkward love triangle of subtle glances, the Dharmas bring Kate on board the sub and seat her right next to Juliet, facing Sawyer. They then bring Sawyer’s parents, high school crush, childhood pastor, and friend who watched him masturbate during a party when he was eighteen, and an actual, literal white elephant onto the ship and seat them all one foot from Sawyer’s face, with no explanation. In the “next week on Lost” clip, however, we see that Sawyer is already off the boat and interacting with Jack, meaning that the boat has turned around for some reason, or that the clip of the ship submerging was just unrelated CGI’d stock footage and the real sub hasn’t left the island yet. Probably the second thing.

WE’RE GOING BACK…TO THE FUTU….LATER TIME, I MEAN. BACK TO THE LATER TIME! NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT HERE.

Jack: Think about it, Kate — All this misery will be over.

Kate: It wasn’t all misery.

[Exchange of glances]

Kate: Ok, so the middle of Season Two was pretty miserable, that I won’t argue. But erase the whole show?

Surely enough, Kate decided she didn’t want to aid Jack in carrying out Faraday’s atomic bomb plan, partly because she couldn’t bear the thought of erasing her entire history and future with Jack and Sawyer, and partly because she didn’t want to detonate an atomic bomb on an island and kill herself and a bunch of other people. Nevertheless, Jack finds a partner for his bomb quest in Not-too-old, Not-too-young, but Juuuuust Right Eloise, who’s beginning to piece together her Daniel experiences and believes that Jack has indeed traveled in time. The group is also joined by Sayid, who arrives by shooting an aggressive Other surprisingly, because he definitely couldn’t have just appeared and been like “Sup, Jack. How’s things?”

The bomb is located in the Jolly Roger Bay level from Mario 64, and Jack, Eloise, and Sayid manage to swim underwater into the secret bombcave to the find the bomb, leading to this awkward product shot:

 

Lost Bomb 

People did notice that Lost showed a bunch of PC ads and Sawyer just so happened to mention to Juliet “we’ll buy Microsoft,” right? Coincidence: unlikely. If they throw completely random zoomed-in shots of the GE logo into next week’s episode…

LOSTDS AND ENDS

Sayid Gun– In the opening sequence, when Eloise said “These people aren’t from Dharma” and Widmore responded “Then where the hell are they from,” I was expecting her to say yet again, “You mean…WHEN are they from…” and a bell to start ringing and a bunch of confetti to start falling from the sky and Damon Lindelof to come out to present a giant novelty check to Eloise for uttering the one millionth instance of “WHEN are we.” I’m very glad this didn’t happen.

– Locke’s line, “I’m not afraid of anything you can do anymore, Ben” was the most emasculating thing anyone on the show has ever spoken. I hope Ben has something up his sleeve for the finale and hasn’t actually been broken by Locke.

– “Who’s Hugo Reyes?” “The fat guy.” Immediate cut to Hurley grabbing armfuls of canned food. Pretty funny comic-relief moment that for once didn’t self-awarely poke fun at how ridiculous all the time travel stuff is, for the first time in about fifteen weeks.

– Despite the amazing opening and closing “cut to LOST titler” lines, Locke’s reveal to Ben “Who is that man, Locke” “…ME” was the single least surprising twist of the season. Not that it was a bad moment, but we had literally seen that entire seen occur before already, so why did the show feel the need to treat Locke’s “ME” line with dramatic music and a “dun dun!!!” cut to commercial? Just have it happen.

Episode thoughts, theories observations, finale predictions, Rose/Bernard lamentations, and unfounded “I’m done with this show” declarations — leave ‘em all in the comments!