In Worst Economic News Of 2009, Massive Slim Jim Shortage Now Underway

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Macho Man Slim Jim ExplosionI’ve got some bad news for all you Slim Jim enthusiasts out there… Or some good news for all you people who enjoy super-random stories about explosions causing sweeping Slim Jim shortages:

An explosion last month destroyed the only Slim Jim plant in the U.S., the Post reports. And the company that makes Slim Jims, ConAgra (CAG), hasn’t produced any since then and won’t do so for at least another month.

Industry analysts say that Slim Jim loyalty is very high, and that people aren’t going to be OK with substitutes if the real thing is gone. That’s why some fans may be hoarding the remaining supply.

Analysts tell the Post that ConAgra could produce as many as 500 million Slim Jims every year. ConAgra said it won’t return to full Slim Jim production until the fall.

What we learn from this news story:

1) The only Slim Jim plant in the United States literally exploded.

2) Repetitive, unironic usage of the noun “Slim Jims” is amazing.

3) The term “Slim Jim loyalty” is also amazing.

Adjust your diet/lives accoringly.

(via Gorillamask)