China Way Ahead of U.S.A. In “Gayest Pets Alive” Race

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Bad News for America: It looks like China is way, WAY ahead of us in our global race to create the GAYEST PETS ALIVE.  You see, as the global economy is tanking, Chinese residents have discovered the simple pleasures of owning a pet.  As a result, their pet industry is booming.  (Also? Suicides.)  The NY Times had this to say on an article about Chinese pets written last year (but almost definitely still current):

Keeping pets has become all the rage among the affluent in China, even though some Chinese still consume dog and cat meat.

Wait, sorry, what–

“We still eat dog, but not this kind of dog,” Liu Ming, a pet shop salesman said, pointing to a toffee-colored puppy with floppy ears on sale for about 500 yuan, or $70. “We eat much bigger dogs.”

Well, that’s comforting but–

Known as “fragrant meat,” dog meat is purported to have medicinal benefits and to improve blood circulation in winter.

Honestly, I wasn’t psyched about eating dogs unTIL I read that whole “fragrant meat” description.  This sounds borderline appetizing, especially if the fragrance their referring to happens to be Dolce & Gabbana Pour Homme, in which case, fire up the BayBQ, and get the telescoping fork out, because dinner’s ready.

And if these AMAZING photos are any indication, it looks like China is differentiating “food” dogs from “throw a ball and play catch with” dogs by turning them into gay rainbow unicorns.  A movement we think is both practical and smart, but one that is clearly not buttering up the terrified minds of China’s children.  Reuters reports that:

Amid China’s current pet boom, dog owners are flocking to pet beauticians to pamper their pets with everything from shampooing to hair trimming, and nail care to hair-dye.

Looks like the economy is bad for everyone EXCEPT pet beauticians.  Take note, med school grads looking for work.

So take heed, readers:  Not only are their kids smarter and soon to be richer than ours, but now their animals are gayer?! Come on, America, we’re better than this.

(Click on the thumbnails for the amazingness.)

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