The Most Confusing Powerpoint Slide in Microsoft History

by Michelle COLLINS

Yael-Arad-Powerpoint-Need-Drive-Bug

This is Yael Arad. She is something of a legend in Israel, as she is the first person from the tiny country to ever win an Olympic medal. A silver in Judo to be exact (More like JEWd– I’ll stop.)  Because of this honor, Yael travels the country giving speeches about what it takes to be a champion (nevermind the fact that, technically, she came in second.)  I was lucky enough to be on the receiving end of one of those speeches, as part of a program I took part in on my trip to the Holy Land.

The speech, it should be noted, took place during an unexplainable Romanian circus we were treated to involving people on stilts and failed Eastern European porn stars.  Which explains the trapeze.  But Yael pushed through, as only a champion can, even though her grasp of the English language was as loose as Kate Gosselin‘s… pre-nup.  **collar-pull**

Yael spent a conservative 15-minutes telling us about having to climb a mountain in Korea for 2 hours while getting stuff  slapped to her back (the actually “stuff” was never specified, though we opined it might have been these.)  At the end of story, after hearing about her climbing this same godforsaken mountain, we learned a very important lesson:  She was super tired. And sweaty. And, like… really hot.  Not so much inspirational as it was perspirational.

That being said, Yael did come prepared with easily the most brainfold-tingling Powerpoint Presentation every presented in Microsoft history.  Check out the slide in the above photo, where Yael taught us a very important lesson regarding “The Love & Ambition of success in sport”.  Pay close attention, kids:  Need does not equal drive, and together, they yield “Bug”.

(4 minute pause) Pretty sure there is nothing more to add to this concept, so…  The person who can offer the best theory as to what the HELL this slide means will earn a direct message from me on Twitter! (@michcoll, for those who care.) (Oh snap, unexpected Twitter plug!)