ONTD informs us that rapper Soulja Boy has released a picture of his “peen print”, as they call it, or in laymen’s terms, the outline of his D in his shorts. Now, if you can manage to avert your gaze from the undeniably G face he is making, you’ll note that the outline in his fleece shorts is gigantic, thick, and almost 100 percent definitely not the man’s penis.
Which leads us to ask: If that giant kielbas we’re staring at isn’t, in fact, his D, as Soulja Boy would have you believe, what, exactly, is it? You can check out our guesses after the jump, and feel free to leave your own guess in the comments section.
5. A Ruby Encrusted $5 Foot Long.
4. A rolled-up Cosmo. It’s not coincidence that one of the cover stories is “50 Ways To Make Your Peen Look Myuge.”
3. One of the Jon & Kate + 8 Kids. Sorry.
2. “Mark Wahlberg’s Boogie Nights prosthetic penis stolen from Planet Hollywood” (Dan’s Idea)
1. A Tootsie Roll Bank. This is code for his actual penis.
Leave your guesses in the jump, and feel free to be creative.