Meet Guy Penis: An Actual Israeli Celebrity. With the Last Name. Penis.


GUY-PENIS-1There are plenty of pop culture differences between our great nation of America and that of Israel.  For example, if you want to make it big as a singing sensation over in the Middle East, it is not actually required that you have a good singing voice.  Having a curly ponytail — or “Kebab Knob” as I call it — certainly does help. Being a Russian prostie won’t hurt your chances either.

But of all these pop culture differences, one in particular rises above the occasion, almost literally. Because in Israel, their most famous television host — the “Ryan Seacrest of the Holy Land” — well, there’s really no classy way to say it, so here it is: His name is Guy Penis.


To be fair, he spells his name “Guy Pines“. But no matter where you were to turn, if there was a TV around, the words “GUY PENIS” would stick out, pun more than definitely intended, from in the midst of the otherwise ancient mumbo jumbo. And clearly, it is the most amazing name on the face of the girth since my best friends uncle, Dick Gay.

Not much else needs to be said about Guy Penis. Other than that I just added him as a friend on F-book (peens crossed!!) Check out this video of Guy being interviewed by two men in old man makeup to hear the name being said, as well as to marvel at how low their television budget can go:

Also, feel free to leave comments of actual names you’ve heard that are worse or more shocking than Guy Penis.

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