Oh dear god, no. No no no. This is a story of two male penguins, one named Harry, the other Pepper, who fell in love nearly 6 years ago while cohabitating Penguin Island (not to be confused with the Fox reality show about Gay Penguins by the same name.) The gay twosome even raised a little adopted penguin baby together, replete with a tiny penguin papoose and an overpriced albeit adorable mini-hybrid car. All was well in the world of the gay pengies.
That is, until some bitch named Linda came into the picture. When Linda’s spouse passed away, Harry couldn’t help but notice how the morning sun reflected in her single penguin tear, or how she so delicately preened her own feathers out of necessity. The man couldn’t help himself. So, he kicked Pepper to the gay curb and moved in with Linda. Her name would be Linda, wouldn’t it?
And while all is well in Harry and Linda’s little idyllic world, what with their two kids and bible approved mating habits, poor Pepper has been left all on his own, spending Friday nights polishing his favorite pinkie ring and making sure his fuxedo still fits, because you never know: A new gay penguin might be moving to the island any day now. At least, he can dream.
Please check out this news report, but have the Kleenex handy:
PS: Band name of the Day: The Bisexual Penguin.