Kim Zolciak is the television equivalent of face cancer. Now that that’s out of the way, the Bravo reality star of The Real Housewives of Atlanta and mother of 2 adorable little second-hand smokers is getting serious about her future music career. So serious, in fact, that she has decided to go ahead and release what is perhaps the only single we would consider listening to: The now infamous “Don’t Be Tardy For the Party”, a husky track first clowned on by her ever hilarious Housewife co-star Nene Leakes.
Perhaps it’s no coincidence that Nene’s version cannot be found anywhere online (this after an hour of searches, but please, prove me wrong.) So, sadly, this is the only “Tardy Party” tune we have to rely on as a nation.
How to describe Kim’s “Don’t Be Tardy For The Party”… it’s killer robot whores from Mars in Dolce and a thong shorting out when they mistakenly throw an appletini down their metal electric gullet. Yes, it’s that exactly:
What follows is a preview, though the full song can be heard here.