This Is Probably The Most Normal Thing You Will Read About Michael Jackson’s Death

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McCauley-Blanket-Dad

England, I swear, you and your theories! Today comes a new suggestion about Blanket Jackson’s real father. No, not the Indian who cried over the garbage dump (good guess though).

Instead, they’re offering up the next most obvious choice: Child Star and MJ BFFL Macauley Culkin, whose sperm is likely to look like liquid gold. Though, now that they mention it, we sort of do see a resemblance…

McCauley Culkin and Blanket Jackson

Which begs the question: If blonde-haired, blue eyed McCauley is Blanket’s natural father, then who, pray tell, is the Mom? Mmmduhhhhhh…

It’s the Land O Lakes lady:

Land-O-Lakes-Lady

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