Woody Harrelson’s Vegan Cure



Screw Proactiv! Woody Harrelson is a celebrity willing to endorse a whole new acne treatment: veganism. Harrelson told Maxim recently that he owes his perfect complexion to some advice he got from a stranger on a bus twenty years ago, who told him to go vegan to help clear his skin. Harrelson said, “I met some random girl on a bus who told me to quit dairy and all those symptoms would go away three days later. By God, she was right.”

If that’s not a script worthy of a 30 minute infomercial reenactment, we don’t know what is. Ahem.

“Excuse me, is this seat taken? Me and my hemp backpack need to take a load off.”
“By all means, please sit, “Cheers” star Woody Harrelson.”
“Thank you, stranger on a bus. Hey, I have acne.”
“Yes, I noticed, and if there’s one thing I know about, it’s how to cure acne.”
“That’s lucky.”
“Dairy. The answer is dairy. If you give up the milk your skin will be like silk. I just made that up. Hey, can I meet Ted Danson?”
“Thank you, you have changed my life. And no, Ted Danson just started dating Whoopi Goldberg, so he’s taken.”
“Yes, I think it will last. Anyway, this is my stop. Thanks for the advice, stranger on this bus!”

End Scene. Cue piano music and 800-number. [Photo: GettyImages]

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