Rob And Kristen Act Married, Claims Delusional Tabloid

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Poor OK! Magazine. The tabloid finally figured out that no one was interested in buying its boring cover stories about Jennifer Aniston’s phantom fetuses, and is desperately wooing the Twi-hards, hoping they can save their flailing rag. Sadly, no true Twilight fan (yes, we mean TheFABlife staff) is gonna fall for this kinda crap.

The magazine’s cover alludes that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart – the world’s most introverted and camera-shy stars since J.D. Salinger – declared – to a tabloid -  “we’re already like a married couple!” It also boasts of exclusive photos of their shared hotel suite (alleged, natch) and insider info on their relash, that OK! claims, through clever word choices, were supplied by Robsten. Nice try.

As Jezebel points out, OK! claims the that couple shares an entire floor of the hotel, but their exclusive hotel photos are just ripped off the Sheraton’s website. Then there are the horrendously cheesy descriptions of their time together, that are so sappy even Stephenie Meyer wouldn’t write them: “Their room contains no fewer than six natural gas fireplaces, in front of which Rob serenades Kristen with Van Morrison and John Lee Hooker tunes on one of his Gibson guitars,” and “[after a run-in with paparazzi] they ascended to their celestial nest and left the real world behind.”

So not okay, OK!. Luckily, sensible Twilight twitter sites (like the hilarious KStew411) are openly mocking the glorious, steaming pile of BS. We Twi-hards may love vampire stories, but even OK!’s claims are too fantastical for our tastes. [Photo: OK!]

Check out photos of the alleged lovebirds in the gallery below.

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