Carnie Wilson’s Reality Show “Unstapled” Sure to Ruin All Future “Press Your Luck” Parties

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CARNIE WILSON UNSTAPLEDNext time your making kettle corn in the hopes of having a relaxing evening watching a “Press Your Luck” marathon on the Game Show Network, make sure to have a puking receptacle handy. That’s because former Wilson Phillips singer and TMI enthusiast Carnie Wilson will be GSN’s first reality show star ever, on a show called “Unstapled.”

“Unstapled.”

“Unstapled.”

In reference to her gastric bypass surgery, of course. Why the GAME SHOW NETWORK, which has built an empire off of Chuck Woolery’s mole alone, is getting into the reality show business to begin with — and with CARNIE WILSON, who we’re pretty sure has lost every single one of life’s lotteries — is beyond the entire planet. Sure, she hosts “The New Newlywed Game“, but this is still no excuse…

Why not give a reality show to Chuck Woolery, who clearly lives in a velveteen castle full of prostitutes? Same for Pat Sajak. And you and I both know that Wink Martindale has some skeletons in his overly tanned closet. In fact, every other game show host in history — specifically John Davison, and now that we mention it, even Shadoe Stevens — would make better reality show fodder than Carnie Wilson’s “Unstapled.”

It seems the Game Show Network has finally hit the ultimate Whammy. (Press Your Luck reference? My work here is done.)

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