Pole Dance Workout Instructor Joins Cast Of Lost… So What Does This MEAN?

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Meet your new cast member, Lost fans — L.A. Law co-star turned erotic exercise instructor Sheila Kelley:

Sheila Kelley Pole Dance

Kelley will play the recurring role of “Kendall” in the show’s final season. But, rather than just accept this minor detail and resume waiting for the season to actually start, let’s try some speculation: What is the significance of this pole dancing workout instructor being added to the show?

Some theories:

  • The island was a giant pole the whole time and the survivors were merely dancing on it, erotically.
  • Every Jack-centric episode will just feature constant erotic pole dancing on the screen to maintain viewers’ interest.
  • Yunjin Kim got a DUI this summer and will be replaced.
  • Ben will do something shady, and a pole will be there.
  • The island was purgatory. Purgatory has pole dancers in it.
  • Lost was really L.A. Law the whole time. The polar bear was Corbin Bernsen.

Other theories? Leave ‘em in the comments. But I’m pretty sure all of mine are correct.