Johnny Depp Is The Sexiest Old Man Alive

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johnny-depp

Did you see your dad on the cover of People magazine? He’s been voted The Sexiest Man Alive! Okay okay, it’s Johnny Depp, but our resident King of Sex Appeal just isn’t doing it for us in this pic. No, it’s not just because we’re biased toward Depp’s heir (and hair) apparent, Robert Pattinson, even if his  fake People cover was much sexier than the real thing.  Johnny looks puffy and plain, like someone took a photo of him from his Free Winona years and age-progressed it a bit too much.

The actor has already won the coveted title before, in 2003, which leads us to think it might be time for him to retire his crown and hand it off to one of the hunky up and comers lurking in the sexy shadows. Bradley Cooper, Ryan Gosling, Chris Pine, the dude who plays Desmond on “Lost”… there are a lot of options out there, People. Maybe next time ask your kids who they think is hot, instead of your grandma. [Photo: People]