BWE SLANG: Airplane Food


Airplane FoodAirplane Food (âr’plān’ ˈfüd)
An element of culture that’s been so universally made fun of by comedians and people alike, when you encounter a negative experience with it, you can’t express any new or original frustration.

As the latest example of such an occurrence, I recently went to an expensive luxury spa (a Christmas gift), and amidst an amazing array of mineral baths, hot tubs, and orgasmic fruit scrubs (their technical name), the entire men’s side of the spa was expectedly full of naked middle-aged men going very far out of their way to be demonstratively comfortable with their nudity.

The hordes of naked dudes in a bathing-suit-optional area didn’t mar the experience, but it was really awkward, and yet, afterwards, I felt I couldn’t make any jokes about it to my friends without sounding like every standup comedian ever making an observation that was comically retired at an early-90s Comedy Central special. There’s a bunch of naked middle-aged dudes in spas. Airline food is bad.

Old Naked ManThis same concept — something that’s been made fun of so much, you can’t make fun of it anymore regardless of your experience — applies in all kinds of situations, from eating airline food to doctors making you wait forever, to people in gyms being so cut you need to work out before you work out there, to women taking a long time in the bathroom, to George W. Bush messing up words. The things get overly made fun of because they’re so prevalent, and yet, this prevalence eventually protects them from being made fun of once the observation becomes so accepted, there’s no longer any reason to bring it up. This isn’t to say that Bush didn’t continue messing up words long after it was fashionable comic material, or that he didn’t still deserve it, just that at some point in the arc of , everyone just accepts

Hopefully the expression will catch on. I haven’t successfully leaked the insult “Dickwolf” into the public consciousness, but dammit, it’s getting there.

Other examples of airplane food? Leave ‘em in the comments. Talent scouts from the Bill Engvall Show will be scouring these comments for ideas.

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