Eli Roth Gets Inglouriously Stung, 200 Times

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Last night, Eli Roth, “Bear Jew” of Critics’ Choice-nominated Inglourious Basterds and the writer/director behind the Hostel series, tweeted quite the real-life nightmare. While kayaking off the coast of Mexico, his kayak suddenly sank, stranding him about a mile off shore. He was forced to climb deadly sea urchin-covered rocks to an island, and when a wave knocked him over, he was stung over 200 times. Lucky to be alive, he was rescued by a fisherman.

Drunk tourists harassed him upon his arrival back to the beach, while he was covered in blood and in dire need of medical attention. Finally, he was brought to a hospital and forced to endure getting all 200 pins removed, without anesthetics due to swelling. TMZ obtained a disturbing photo of his mauled foot.

Roth plans to hobble to the People’s Choice Awards tonight. A trooper to say the least. [Photo: Weinstein Co.]

His entire horrific tale - via Twitter - after the jump.

It’s kind of weird to put into 140 characters, but in a nutshell I was in an ocean kayak in open water that suddenly sank. It had a hole. I was about a mile from the shore, behind a huge rocky island. I had to swim to the island and got pulled under the water and nearly hit it. I scrambled up and got about 200 sea urchin pins in the bottom of my feet and my palms. The rock was covered in crabs. It was like a scene out of Starship Troopers. I screamed for help until a fisherman saved me. This was in Mexico. I do not speak much Spanish.

The doctor couldn’t anesthetize my foot because it would swell too much. She held up a needle and tweezers and simply said “Be brave.”

My vacation from there pretty much turned into Hostel 3. The doctor couldn’t get them all in 90 mins, so a friend continued for 6 hours. It was honestly the most painful experience I’ve ever had in my life. I just had to grit my teeth and bear it while they picked them out. 

So now I’m hobbling around. I still have sea urchin spikes in my feet and palms. I can’t get them out and have to wait for them to dissolve.

I tried to upload a photo of my feet back can’t seem to get my computer and phone in sync. It’s pretty gnarly. Wish I’d recorded my screams.

I started the year nearly melting and finished it nearly drowning. Plus I had been kayaking so I was exhausted when it sank. I’ve just been resting, taking antibiotics, soaking my feet. My hands are healing up but my feet are in rough shape.

The best part was when I googled “sea urchins” and it said that they are poisonous, but if you get 1 spike, you’ll be fine. I had over 200. Luckily, the crabs were scared of this Bear Jew [his Inglourious Basterds character] on their rock and they’d back away. But then a wave would come and displace everyone. My feet and hands were such a mess I couldn’t walk – I had to crab-walk on my butt around the rock to find an opening where I could jump in. Two days later 4 baby sharks were spotted near where I was stranded. And where there are babies… I actually thought to myself “Oh my God – I’m going to get eaten to death by crabs! And I won’t even be around to tell [TMZ's Harvey Levin].”

I got back to shore and this rich tourist was trying to introduce me to his family. I was like “Um, pardon me, I almost just died…” I’m standing there, dripping and bleeding, and he’s drunk and is like “Hey, meet my son!” The son extends his hand. The son is also drunk. I actually said “I’m sorry, I can’t shake your hand, I don’t really have any skin there right now. Which way’s the hospital?”

Thankfully, Geraldine the “Camera Angel” met me at the clinic to translate. She held my head through the whole thing. She is truly an angel.

I spent the next 5 days “heavily medicated,” listening to Cheech & Chong. That worked wonders.

I think I’ve done enough tweets for one lifetime. Check out the People’s Choice awards tomorrow. I’ll be on, assuming I don’t die.

On the bright side of Roth’s near-death experience, he’s swimming in material for a third installment of Hostel

The Critics’ Choice Movie Awards airs live on VH1 next Friday, Jan. 15th @ 9PM. Check out what noms are getting buzz with our Twitter Tracker.

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