Last week, the world was introduced to a song called “Pants on the Ground” via one General Larry Platt and American Idol. That video became viral, it’s singer, a hero. And one week later, the inevitable: Thousands of people covering this jam on Youtube. But when the name of said song is “Pants on the Ground,” it goes without saying some of those covers are going to be highly disturbing.
This is the story of those covers.
10. The Preteen Girl Pants on the Ground. Reasons 1 through 1 million as to why we are happy the internet did not exist when we were 13. Because this definitely would have happened to us, only it would have been Les Miserables. Cue “Castle in a Cloud” with a showercap and a Swiffer.
9. The “Wait, He Actually Put His Pants on the Ground” Pants on the Ground. You know the old “Not Safe for Work? Not Safe for Life!” joke that’s been traveling these here internets for hundreds of years? Well, if you ask us, it secretly somehow originated from this “Pants on the Ground” cover. Before pressing play, just look at the still. Look at it! I gotta go disinfect my eyeball tweezers, brb.
8. The Too Much Testosterone Pants on the Ground. When not being able to pronounce his own name correctly, Brett Favre has another favorite past time: Screaming the words to viral videos out loud in the locker room. Surprisingly, Favre’s cockroach weatherman is actually quite genteel.
7. The “Make This Our Wedding Song?” Pants on the Ground. Many of you will remember this face. That’s because it’s Alex Wagner-Trugman, the lanky former Idol contestant who charmed with his pitch-perfect wit. That being said, what’s most disturbing about his cover of “Pants on the Ground” is that it sounds so good gurl. We want him to whisper sing this into our ear as he does our taxes (code for makes love to us).
6. The Sexually Confusing “Pants on the Ground.” We seriously have no idea what gender any of these people are. But look: Autotune + vaseline on the lens + bent over in front of a fire place = We think we’ve been to Nam now.
5. The Fat Adam Sandler Pants on the Ground. No description necessary.
4. The Mouth Remix Pants on the Ground. I’ve just always found people who can make record scratch noises with their faces disturbing. This might be a personal thing.
3. The Ellen’s Biggest Fans Pants on the Ground. Look, we’re not just assuming that these girls are Ellen’s biggest fans because they’re wearing giant pants and Timberlands. Because by assuming, you make an ass out of you and Ming, and I’d like to leave Chinese vases out of this. (More like the Zing Dynasty.) No, the reason we know is the video keeps telling us. Every 2 seconds. “Help us get on the Ellen show.” Then they say “Ellen DeGeneres with your pants on the ground.” We love Ellen, but we’re pretty sure even she would chalk this up to disturbing.
2. The DO YOUR F*CKING LAUNDRY FAKE JASON MRAZ Pants on the Ground. Nothing is more disturbing to us than a slob.
1. The Intense, Visibly Dancing Jeans Pants on the Ground. Nothing disturbs us more than a ghost dancing in jeans. Also, octave runs.
BONUS VIDEO: Here’s a cover we found that is actually adorable. 3 guys with nothing better to do than sing “Pants on the Ground” using child instruments…
With thanks to Lauren Deiman for her help in compiling these!